residue of negativity and feelings of depression

I have built in radar...and everyone I know has a detector!

I work all day and I'm exhausted...I sit here in my chair falling asleep
I cannot lay down and nap
for when I do the phone ironically rings...tis better to stay in the chair
I am home all day...nobody calls...as soon as I leave people start calling...
they leave rude messages because I don't answer my phone...
they don't even call for any purpose...
just to bitch in my ear and
leave me with a nasty residue of negativity
then wonder why it is I feel depressed
or just plain ole don't answer my phone

I do nothing for weeks...am near the phone alot...
it never rings...nobody needs or wants anything...
I call them...they don't call back...
the ones who do call only call to bitch in my ear
and leave me with more residue of negativity
then ask why I am depressed feeling
or why I don't return my messages

I make plans to do something on my days off
(in my head not even outloud)
the phone begins to ring and suddenly I am needed
as soon as any thoughts of doing something for myself flit from my head
the phone goes silent...

with a residue of negativity
and feelings of depression
I sit in my chair so I can nap
because
I have built in radar and everyone I know has a detector